A Turn of Events: yet another twist in the road

So a lot has been going on these last few weeks on my not so little, yet small Island. Along with the daily routine of work, breathing, sleeping, showering and eating (not in any particular order) I have been at this constant battle in my mind. Some of this information might be news to a few, assumed knowledge to others, and just plain out of the blue to some.

BACKGROUND INFO
I'm currently on a working holiday visa for 5 months (the longest visa I could obtain at the time) which expires in May. About a month and half ago I came across new information on both the US Government and Irish Government site which talked about a new agreement between both countries to now allow citizens to travel, live and work in each others' country for up to 12 months.

Now considering this information was relatively new at the time of my leaving, you can imagine my frustration when I found this out after searching for weeks, even months, on how to get a longer visa without company sponsorship....plus the only Irish guys I knew in SD had already left so I couldn't run to Vegas, or the Chapel around the corner from that little coffee house on Garnet. During this time I was never informed of this visa possibility, from both sides of the government.

Long story short I have been put through the ringer multiple times in effort of finding some kind of information from my government or the Irish government in how to go about getting the longer visa. I have done all the research, know all the limitations and restrictions, yet no where on the application does it say US citizens currently living in Ireland on an alternative visa cannot apply for this new visa while living abroad. It just states that I would have to leave "the state in which I am living" and return again to activate the new 12 month visa. Basically all my contacts I have tried are telling me conflicting information. The US is telling me to ask the Irish consulates in the US, those Irish consulates (in the US) are telling me to deal with the Irish government IN Ireland (since I am already here, which makes since) but the government here refuses to give me information. I was flat out told by the Irish Government of Foreign Affairs that they were told by higher authority to not help our persons under this matter, even though the agreement is still in effect and permitted.....SAY WHAT?!

So I have sent off all my necessary details and application to my parents who are using a contact of ours on the East coast (who has Irish ties) in hope that he might be able to help me.

Which leads me to my current battle...

I have been going back and forth with what I would do if given the chance to stay a full year. Not only would I have great travel opportunities within my company (i.e.: Nepal, Thailand, Spain, South Africa, etc), but I would get the chance to continue working within the industry I love: Travel and Writing.

I cant tell you how many Pros and Cons lists I've made but they frankly come down to a few things. I miss my CA weather. Whether it be Northern or Southern California I miss it: the warm sun, the beach, the life. Of course I miss my family but given if I stay I know I can get them to come to me, wherever that may be. But it's you reading this right now that makes my heart ache.

The life I created with you: whether it be wanting to plan a summer reunion Vegas trip, living together in a Northern coastal town, seeing the birth of one of my oldest friends baby in July (the first out of of my best friends), missing 23rd birthdays, Chico reunions, missing applying for The Amazing Race, not being able to call during my car's oil change or plan trips sitting in a hammock or floating down a river in a tube. Now this all seems like silly small things, but when you add them all together and how I miss all the people who surrounded my life back home its hard to think about separating yourself even longer.

But then I know if and when I leave this cloud-covered Island, I won't live here again with this opportunity. Chances are I will be headed back home to start the job search and putt around a while before finding out what I want to do. In this state it seems stupid to leave a great job opportunity to an empty hand. So I have made the decision that I will officially stay until at least August(the date of my return flight) if my year visa doesn't go through. After May, I will go travel and come back into Ireland on my visitor permit which lasts up to 90 days, at which I will show my return flight ticket as proof.

If my visa can be extended I am going to stay. Yes I will have to find some alternative tan, but the chances of regretting staying are much more slim than the regret of not fully committing and experiencing an opportunity I was to go home. I'm announcing this here, and I apologize to those of you who are close to me, but it was the only way I could get myself to say it. I need to stay, I'm going to stay and I'm pretty sure I have to stay for some inner reason in myself. I miss you all so very much and wish I could be home in the warm summer to experience all those joys I mentioned with you, but this is where I need to be for now. So just know that you are my weakness and while I love hearing you miss me too, be as happy for me to be here as you would be if I were home. All your love weighs on me and I really do take everything you say to heart.

An old friend has been a great inspiration to me and while I'm sure they have no clue that I am listening to their words, Thank you. On the off chance you come across this blog know that I agree with you and I can't go home and wake one day wondering if I'll ever see the pyramids; wondering if I ever tried. I know this world is crumbling in front of me and I really do feel like I'm running out of time, but I've decided to take my time and slow down.

When I can decided what this new point of view is that is affecting my whole life you will be the first to know.

Love and miss you all...thank you for being a part of this whole adventure with me!